While sitting at my favored Starbucks, I thought about Gay Porn. Wait a minute, by-the-way, I’m enjoying a Venti 3-pump-vanilla 2-pump-raspberry soy no-foam latte, accessorized with a recycled sleeve and a large green straw. God that’s so gay!
Gay Porn Secrets
Okay, let’s first start with the dirty little dangers. Hum… Shall I reveal the truth about my dangerous sexcapaids with other men while masquerading as a heterosexual male, or maybe delve into those hot little recesses of my mind and expose the gay porn fantasies of rolling around in a human salad and dangerously ravishing other men on a plastic sheet drenched in flavored oils. Aside from the delicious fluid transfer, what other danger is there? Everyone knows gay men only think about sex and watching gay porn, well, maybe working out and shopping, but that’s so they can be more attractive when having sex and watching gay porn with their partner(s).
But, I’m not revealing anything new am I. Then what are the dangers?
That’s a mouth full… That’s what he said!
Are you against bigotry, discrimination, and those who have an utter disregard for equality?
The sticky truth
So… With all this buildup I know you’re just about to explode, and you’re absolutely dying to know the climactic point to this gay porn story. Well, first off, I am a heterosexual male, and… drum roll please… some of my dearest friends are gay and they watch gay porn. I have not had sex with them, nor do I have sexual fantasies about men. So yes, I lied in the beginning to get your attention. Basically I’m me, and this is a gay not gay porn story. Damn, the cat’s out of the bag now! At this point I’m so tempted to say, “Not that there’s anything wrong with it!”, but I’ll stick to the plastic… oops! A little fetish slip, I mean Freudian slip, and I meant to say “stick to the subject” not the “plastic.” In any event, at an undisclosed point in time I was accused of working in a gay bar in Old City Philadelphia, and persecuted for associating with gay men, I don’t know if these men watched gay porn or not. But if that were true, I would have made a hell of a lot more money in tips by bending over to get that beer out of the refrigerator!
Image that! In this day and age the “gay card” was used in court to influence a judge’s perception by implying that associating with gay men, or being gay, or watching gay porn is a sign of instability and obsessive behavior that could be the onset of criminal conduct.
Sulu, somebody, beam me the fuck outta’ here!
Here’s the funny thing, I am appalled that I was stereotyped not as an emotionally healthy gay man, but as a man who had not accepted being gay, and as such, I was psychotic. Whether my psychosis was from watching gay porn or not is still in debate. But, the associations are ludicrous! I never believed gay men were emotionally unstable, a little flamboyant at times, but no more unstable than I. How lewd, the blatant use of the “gay card” in a court of law only reinforces stereotypical gay prejudices, and it makes a clear statement that there is something wrong with homosexuality. And get this, the judge took the allegations into consideration… ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! At one point counsel realized what was just stated and stepped in to re-clarify the meaning, which was just as ridiculous as the original statement.
And someone please explain to me how a homosexual man is more apt to be the subject of emotional dysfunction than a heterosexual man.
Oops! Coffee refill…
Loose ______ sink…
Really!… It could have been stated that I was an “angry man,” but the pot was sweetened by suggesting “gay angry man.” My feelings are truly hurt! I love my friends, they’re great, and that will never change. Oh, and they have more non-sexual introspective thoughts than heterosexual men. But here’s the clincher, because of this ridiculousness I began voicing my opinion online and countering the gay statements made about me, but with humor and satire. My stand in favor of being gay-not-gay became an issue, and when compiled with the other nonsensical statements targeting me, I found myself facing criminal charges for making inflammatory videos. Did someone say “First Amendment?” If people are laughing, who the hell is getting inflamed? I can tell you what was inflamed…
Currently, I am defending myself against discrimination, censorship, and being fucked in the ass without my permission (the inflamed part). And, I’m giving the County such a run for their money they need two (2) prosecutors to deal with me. The one prosecutor is a female loose ass (opposed to tight, dear god you should see it), who I say has serious childhood abuse issues, and get this, they call her the “Hammer.” What woman takes on the name “Hammer”? I know your mind just shot off in one direction. LMAO
Aside from the gay-not-gay issue, another issue is this loose caboose prosecutor is attempting to show that women should not be viewed as sexually aggressive.
WAIT… REWIND… Feminists Alert!
Decades of women fighting for equality, and little miss dysfunction is stating there’s something wrong with women being sexually aggressive!!! Where the hell are the bra burners when you need them? If I were to analyze this, I’d have to say her usage of “sexual aggressiveness” is actually a repressed desire brought about by the “Lack-o-nookie Syndrome.” All joking aside, the Lack-o-nookie Syndrome is characterized by an oversize caboose, and as you men know, if the buttocks is not getting enough action then there is a sizable increase in its overall mass.
Anyway, the other prosecutor is a jewish male, and can be best described as a discarded tampon. Anytime a female has a power position over a man, the female becomes a Lorraine Bobbitt and somehow acquires his penis, and then directs him with his own dick. Ultimately, the man has the characteristics of a discarded tampon… fucking useless. This is especially true of jewish men because they are conditioned to be subservient to their mothers, which positions them to be emasculated later in life by their ex-wives. Although this particular man he is very polite, I believe he knows the actions against me are a little fishy, but that may be him. And, I do feel sorry for him, tampon or not. No strings attached to that statement.
Well, if you like my fiction-non-fiction, and you wish to continuing supporting bigotry, discrimination, and those who have an utter disregard for equality, then be on your way. But, if you feel so inclined to support me in combating and putting to shame a couple of scumbags who believe in and reinforce bigotry, discrimination, and have an utter disregard for equality, then click the link below and share.
If I collect enough money, I will video these two stripped down, face-to-face with their arms and legs interlaced together, and then dip them in a vat of clear latex! Yes… I will make sure they can breathe. God that’s so hot! Imagine a video of two naked bodies struggling to break free of a joint latex bodysuit. Talk about going viral! Nah, I’m not unstable…
Oh by-the-way, I did began this story by suggesting Gay Porn Leads to Criminal Conduct… Notwithstanding being gay-not-gay, I have no fucking clue, so ask someone watches!